ok - on the basis that this is where I am supposed to vent ...
My H is still a lying cheating scum bag.
I spoke to my MIL today to confirm arrangements to babysit for me next week (it is my birthday and work colleagues are taking me out for a drink). When H came home (to drop the kids off as he had picked them up from school) I said "just on the phone with your mum" and he looked sheepish and then said he had to go. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rising, and the heat coming up on my chest, and against better judgement I called his mum back as soon as he left and asked whether she had asked him if she could have the kids tomorrow night, or if he had asked her. Turns out, she never asked him and knows nothing about it. She said he'd called her this morning and she wasn't able to talk and when she called him back he was driving with the kids in the car, so he said he'd call her back. All that "I will always be there to look after the kids", the "I want to see them as often as I can" and he then wants to offload them on his mum so he can go out with her. I can only assume its with her, otherwise, why lie about it.
And I also can't believe he is still lying about her. He knows I know. He knows there is nothing I can say or do about it. But yet he lies. We are separated and he is free. But he lies non-the-less. Why? Is it to shield me from the pain? Is it to stop me moving on? Is it to retain the status quo?
In any case, my MIL told me even if he asks, can't watch the kids overnight. . Her spare bedroom is being re-decorated and there is no-where for the kids to sleep.
I hope when he calls OW to say he can't go out tomorrow because he has to babysit that it makes her think twice about seeing a married man. I hope it makes clear she will never come first. In fact, she will come third. His job first (he works on a roster and is away about 40% of the time) and then his children. Once they get comfortable, he will put nights out with his friends above her also. That is what happened to us. I was OK with it because the children and I were a package. When he was spending time with his kids, he was spending time with me. I only started to care when the kids (and I) became his third priority (after work and going out with friends) and thats when the problems started. It is fun now, the spark of a new relationship. But, once it becomes real, she will know that his heart is always going to be with the kids.
My MIL just text to say that he had called her but didn't mention babysitting for him. I think he knows that we will probably discuss it at some point and thought better of it. I guess this means he will sulk, be the victim, demonize me and the two of them can talk about what a [censored] i am for stopping them from being together. I didn't do anything. He is the one who constructed an elaborate lie => which turns out he then didn't put into action.
He is out tonight with an old school buddy. He will probably ask her to come down and join them. I can't stop him. Right now, I hate him.
