Navigating through and concentrating on myself #6

[Dtrmned]

I appreciate everyone here on the board. Having this resource helps immensely just to get the thoughts and feelings out of my head. Not a good week for my family.

W is very cold, uncaring and harsh to me. She is escalating her desire to move. Outside of discussing our daughter and getting her taken care of, there has not been much discussion other than her offhanded responses of "I need to get out of here", " I can't wait to get away from this", etc. etc. etc. She was looking for places on her laptop and wasn't even hiding it from me last evening.

I let her do her thing. She is going to do it anyway. I am proceeding with my part and preparing for the future (funny thing there, I originally wrote preparing for the worst, then thought about it for a moment. I have decided to make my life more positive no matter what moving forward).

I hope that someday we can get to a better place and coparent our kids well. This is going to be a VERY difficult few months getting through all of this. I am prepared for her to move. I am not prepared to be without my kids half the time. I actually think my W is looking forward to being without all of us. She loves her kids, but in her selfish state she has stated it many times before that she just wants to be alone and away from everyone.

Of course, I think it was Steve that said it, "the only reason a spouse wants another place is so they can sleep with someone". I agree. She is ready to move on. This is not saying that I am giving up DB'ing. I wanted to make that clear. At this moment, if we could agree on boundaries, I would want to work things out.

I know there is no way to get her to see differently at the moment. This will be a timeline of her own choosing. I have no control over her. I only can control myself and make sure my children have a safe, secure, loving, happy home.

Didn't sleep last night. Tired as anything today. I will put my best face on this morning and any interaction with my W and kids will be good. Today is a positive day!

I have used this line many times and I will honestly say that I believe these are numbered but:
It is Friday, and I my familly is still under the same roof. Changed it a little bit as I have come to realize that space and time is the only chance my W has of her fog lifting. I also don't see this happening as she is very stubborn.

All I can do is watch out for my kids and myself and wish her the best.