I tell myself that detaching is for myself and I do genuinely feel better for it, BUT I also know that a little bit of me wants to shout "hello, I'm detaching here, have you noticed?" When does that alter, ,if at all?
Had contact with H yesterday after 2 weeks of business only contact and we had a very civil upbeat conversation about new grandson and about a friend of ours. I noticed he was putting his coat on when he heard my car, but stayed with his coat on for about 20 minutes chatting. Perhaps that is a positive step created by my PMA and cheeriness?
What if he is also 'detaching' because he wants to see who will break first? It still feels like a bit of a game ploy (not the GAL bit because that is great; just the NC bit)
I suspect that if he has things he needs at the house; he has been coming when he knows he won't have to face me.
Should i intervene at all where the adult children are concerned? There are things I want to suggest he could do that would mean a lot to them and him, but I'm conscious that it is controlling behaviour. I don't have confidence that he'll think of them himself and things will deteriorate further.
