I remember, (and this is documented in my threads) that after it was obvious we were Ring and piecing that I suddenly had a desire to walk away myself and file for D. It was a strange feeling. For months I had been insistent that R and saving my marriage is what I wanted, but when it looked like we were headed that way I had the urge to split up.
I think LBS sometimes are so reactionary that they don't stop to ask what it is they want. It is like sandi says, we have this image of our perfect spouse and in the midst or our sitch don't stop to think about how miserable we might have been and that maybe we want out.
However, what won me over was my W's own 180s. And this is important. We have to own our marital garbage, but so does the WAS. So make sure if you have boundaries that she is aware of those. that there is work she needs to do, conditions she needs to agree to in order for you to agree to R.
ANd for goodness sake please take your bed back!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
