Hi TJT, I'm so sorry to read of your situation. It sounds like things have been deteriorating for a while. There's still hope that your husband will have a change of heart if he sees you move on and become strong and independent on your own or if he's having an affair and it ends. I wish I could offer more that others haven't already offered - the thing that has helped me recently is focusing on my career. I hope you find your own unique way to cope that helps alleviate a bit of the suffering. I also wish so badly to share my life with someone special so I can relate to your comment about that.
