I caught up with an old friend today. He us a WAH of two years now. He has gone back once, started to feel the pressures (nothing had changed) and then called it quits. He still sees his kids though so still interacts with his wife. He validated much of what they say here about pursuit and pressure. I sat next to him at work when he first split up. I dont remember the exact details as we weren't really close then. I do remember he signed up on dating apps a few weeks after the split. I thought it wad callous at the time but not my place to say.
I asked him today how he could do it so easily. He said i didnt know what else to do. It seemed like the next step. He had his fun. Met a few girls (nothing lasted longer than a month or two) and now he is off the apps (too much hassle). I asked him if he still loved his wife. He said yes. I asked him why he wasnt willing to make a go of their marriage. He said, and i quote "the weight of our history is too much". I dont know if they will reconcile. I find It strange that he could talk with such honesty to me(someone he meets for coffee every few months) and not his wife.
Anyway, an insight into why the start dating. And a reminder that when they do, it is nor about the OW. It is about how low their own self esteem is.
As to whether that is your tipping point. Only you can answer that. For me, I thought it would be, but I am still standing. I am stronger now and more determined to detach. He sees it too.
