Last Christmas, I'd had enough and said I was done. I pretty much cut off all contact except for conversations related to the kids and house.
That was the best thing you could have done. You finally gave him time and space and removed all pressure. You allowed him to see that whatever problems he had were not because of YOU. And he likely started to miss you finally.
Quote
As far as I know, he is still seeing the other woman. And I've been going on with my life. Traveled, starting trying to date, all in all doing much better and starting to think I'm better off without him. (Although I still think about him frequently.) Well... the other day he came over to pick up some stuff before an overseas trip and gave me a huge passionate kiss. I asked what he was doing and he said he wanted to kiss me since he was going away and would see me when he returns. I'm floored. Is it possible that my version of the Last Resort worked?
It is certainly possible, I've seen it play out plenty of times like this. People come here thinking they can turn things around in a few days or weeks, but usually it takes over a year or even several years.
Quote
I don't know what to do. I've often thought about whether or not I could possibly take him back - but I don't think he has what it takes to actually work on things and make me feel special.
Here's what I suggest- first of all he hasn't said anything about recon so don't jump to conclusions. Second, unless he shows that OW is out of the picture don't even entertain ANYTHING with him. Don't sleep with him, don't go out, nothing. You need to take a hardline approach and make it clear to him that A) you don't even know if you want him back anymore and B) he has to do all the work to earn your trust, respect and love all over again.
Quote
I'm afraid to sleep with him as it will open up old wounds.
As well you should be. That may be all he's after, and if it is then you really don't want to go there!
Quote
I'd love suggestions for how to proceed when he returns.
Just keep living your life exactly as you have been. Have zero expectations. DO NOT be available to him. If he texts be slow to reply. If he wants to talk then fine, talk. But again make it clear you don't know if you are even interested in him anymore. Paradoxically the more you pull away the harder he will pursue. You'll suddenly become "high value".
