Unsure what's next, what to do.....

[Wanted1]

I have a question on how to handle this IF it comes to it.

After the incident 3 weeks ago I said we are done and need to get a divorce. We started outlining how it would look re: finances, child custody, etc. Living in a small town and both working together in the same business, the only realistic job she can get is an hour away in a larger city. She's been applying for jobs and had a couple interviews. Was offered a job that was quite a bit less pay than she will need to make it financially work.

Obviously in the meantime, I've expressed that now that I've calmed down after the initial emotional and high anxiety reaction that I believe we can work through this with help from IC, MC, etc. She has been essentially unresponsive of her feelings and emotions thus far (as I've posted above) except a week and half ago when she admitted that she still was leaning towards ending things.

I'm TRYING not to focus on her continued efforts to get a new job as a sign that this is over but it's very hard. Of course if she told me she thought if she had a new job and wasn't around me 24/7, like most married couples, would help us work through our troubles and help us head toward R I would be much more in favor of it. I'm trying not to view it as one more step that she's taking towards the inevitable D but doubt creeps in constantly.

As I've thought more about a potential D since our initial talk and how things would work (Finances, kids, etc.) it dawned on me that I will be responsible for the majority of the kids everyday lives every day of the week. If she gets a job an hour away, that means she has to leave an hour early for the commute and won't get home for an extra hour after the commute. Originally we agreed to share custody 50/50 and basically alternate 2 days with her, 2 days with me, then Fri-Sun with her and vice a versa after that. But now when I think about that arrangement, that means on the days they are with her, she will probably have to drop them off with me before she leaves and then I'll take them to school and I will pick them up from school and have them until she gets home from work. Seems like a lot of shuffling around and while I'm happy to take care of my kids, I also feel like I'm making it more 'convenient' for her to just jump ship if she thinks I'm ok with that.

I would obviously love to have full custody but she would absolutely lose her mind at the thought of that. She has always been a mother first and a wife second. Our kids are her #1 priority no matter what. It's good in a sense but I also think that is one of the pitfalls on why we are where we are now. We never made time for our marriage or for each other.

So my question is, if she ends up sticking to her guns and not wanting to try to work this out, do I let her know that I think the arrangement we sort of pre-agreed to is garbage because of all of the shuffling it is going to do to the kids? Me essentially having them full time except for the hour before they go to bed and a little bit of time in the morning before she has to travel to work in my mind means I should have full custody. My thoughts are obviously 2 fold - #1 being obviously the kids and their well being of not having to constantly be shuffled from one household to the other EVERY day of the week but also, #2 maybe if she realizes the effect this will have on the kids and the fact that due to her past actions I've got a pretty good chance at getting full custody, if it comes down to a fight, maybe that will be enough to open her eyes and think twice about being full steam ahead for a D. I don't want her to come back just for the kids. That sounds miserable for everyone, but if that's enough to give her a nudge in the right direction, I think we can get the help we honestly need to make our relationship grow and end up being better by working with IC, MC and doing a retrouvaille sort of workshop on proper and healthy communications in a marriage.

Am I on to something or on something :-)?!