Busy week. I will try and visit later today. Couple things.

I agree with Steve: trying to obsess over and control what you cannot, will set you up for a miserable life. In all aspects of it. It is a form of spinning and self torture. This is where thought stopping, GAL, and putting them in the back of the fridge for now, is a must. It is the only way. Can you find a great book and give yourself 1 hour a day to only focus on that?

Yes, i thought about my H and OW all the dang time! She had been a so called good friend for many years! Friday night dinners, full access to my kids and H all the time. families at a winters cabin, holidays, etc, etc. Our kids are still friends! So yes, my obsession was 10 fold. But what did I tell you? I was wrong about many things. Also, focusing on them only held me back. I deserved better than to give them all my power and attention and so do you!!! It is that simple.

Look, your H is no prize to be won. He is am immature, selfish jerk. You miss him and love him, but really, he is a man that failed on the biggest test in life. A woman's most vulnerable time in her life is pregnancy and being home caring for a newborn. HE HAS FAILED. Let him go. You only want a man that is capable of giving you a real H and father; if and when he shows you him, then you can consider him. ONLY THEN.

And you said he may be "falling in love" with OW. Look, he is not falling. He is making an active choice. To be selfish, to leave you, to be adulterous, and to spend time with her. Also to not take responsibility and blame you. He has the power to choose better.

Less is more right now. Less seeing him, less responding, less time and attention, less thoughts and less words to him. When in doubt, do LESS.

It is time to let go. Hold your head up high. Find a confident Kech that wants a man that treats her and D right. He is not that guy. I am sorry. It hurts like h3ll.

XOXO
Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela