Husband cheated, left, trying to DB 6

[SteveLW]

kech, excellent post! I love it. The thinking through all of this. You did that with detachment. That is a huge step forward.

Just one small tweak:

have 2 choices, fall down the rabbit hole of depression and sadness and accomplish nothing, or buck up, be me, have enjoyable moments when I can, and tackle my goals moving forward. Do I miss him? Omg yes. No. I miss the old him. The him that promised my dad. The him I fell in love with and married. But not this him he has become.I can feel myself slipping backwards into the sadness, but i am TRULY TRULY trying to move forward. I have said my peace, he knows I do not accept him and OW. He knows I dont want anything to do with it. No need to say anything further. I deserve better from him and if he isnt willing to do that then he can settle, because in my opinion thats exactly what he is doing. And its what he WANTS to do, bc it doesnt require much.

One of the most freeing things was when I read sandi say "She is not the girl you married." I was clinging on to the image of who she used to be, not what she had become. And because of that I approached everything as if I was still dealing with the original her. I wasn't. I was dealing with someone that didn't have the same world view, the same values, the same morals, the same ethics. I was dealing with someone completely different than I had known before. And that made me start approaching things completely differently.

I know you know this already, but I just wanted to remind you. And also remember, that doesn't mean he can't change back. My W is now back to her old self. But there for a while she was a completely different person.