I want to thank you for all the posts today. The distraction of reading and thinking about what you were saying was very good for me, to help me get myself picked back up out of the basement a bit.
I hope J tires of D quickly.
You are welcome, and I can't imagine there is any sort of long-lasting R with them. I believe that like the ex-OW sit in my case, J wants what someone else has (or wants). There won't be much of a challenge without you in his life.
I've never posted to you before but the comments on your thread about happiness reminded me of an e-mail my sister forwarded to me:
"The 92 year old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied (even though she is legally blind) moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets hat had been hung on her window. 'I love it' she stated with enthusiasm of a eight year old having just been presented with a new puppy. 'Mrs. Jones you haven't seen the room...just wait.'
'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' she replied. 'Happinesss is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged...it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it -- it's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away...just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account...you withdraw from what you put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories. Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing. Remember the five simples rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred 2. Free your mind from worries 3. Live simply 4. Give more 5. Expect less"
Pretty good stuff from off the internet isn't it!
Mary
"God, help me keep my head up, my heart open, and know I'll always be guided along the path."
Pam, I was where you are right now not long ago! But I was leaning more toward H and then myself.
You are worth more than that! I know there are a few here that are POed because you brought this up again. But I know how you feel, when you give up on life because you think there is no hope.
Find something to hold on to; your shelties for one is a good reason to hang on; they NEED you! So don't let them down.
I found something to focus on; well a few things, and that is what keeps me moving forward. Plus the fact that I want to hang around when my H's world crumbles and the OW is out in the cold. Maybe then he will realize and her too, what they did to our family and me. Don't get me wrong, this does not mean I will enjoy their pain so much as them coming to realize what they did and feel remorseful.
You have much to give and many reasons to live. It is your choice though and none of us can stop you.
But, most times after you win the prize, what do you do with it?
It depends how useful it is.
Most stuff I win gets stuck in the closet. And I think ex-OW thought ex-B was a prize since I know she felt she took him from me. Then she was engaged to someone else in swift order!
I think D and J will be two unhappy people. It sounds like they aren't terribly happy now...and as I read in a magazine article, marriage doesn't make you happy, it makes you married. If you are an unhappy person, you can't expect marriage to all of a sudden make you into a happy one (not for any length of time).
I am glad you understand where I was at yesterday.
Yes, the shelties are good to hang onto. I was hugging my little old lady this morning. You should see the cat swat at her when we go to the barn. LOL Her and the cat are about the same size and the cat probably weighs more than she does.
I always called her the Bumble Bee. She has a temper and she is so tiny, she is cute. Man if you accidently step on her she doesn't yelp, she tells you off!
Yes, hanging around I may possibly get to see if David finds out if she was really worth everything he gave up for her. I have a feeling in the end she won't be worth it. But I could be wrong, that may be exactly what he needs in his life.
Life is full of choices. I just have to figure out the best ones for me!
I am feeling better today. Thank you very much.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
You include D and J in your posts and whether they will be happy or not.
Quote: I don't really think the two of them will be happy together if that is the way this all works out.
Just wondering, what are you HOPING happens in that R, D and J's? Are you HOPING things don't work and D comes back? I'm just curious...since you must be having some thoughts/feelings on this.
You include D and J in your posts and whether they will be happy or not.
Quote: I don't really think the two of them will be happy together if that is the way this all works out.
Just wondering, what are you HOPING happens in that R, D and J's? Are you HOPING things don't work and D comes back? I'm just curious...since you must be having some thoughts/feelings on this. Or maybe you posted all this and I misssed it.
He makes a good pack mule! And he always buys dinner if he is out with someone.