I need to detach and not have expectations. But....
The word "but" negates everything before it. What that sentence says is "I need to detach and not have expectations. But I am not detached and I still have expectations." These are Did problems, not W problems. You still have much work to do young padawan.
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Last night we talked for 30 min on phone about her IC appt. We talked about taking it slow, I guess we aren't seeing other people still. But she doesn't want to commit to any plans.
She's right, you DO need to take it slow. Both of you. You're probably putting too much pressure on her and that just pushes her away. Take off the pressure.
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I keep seeing things about letting go of relationships that aren't working, moving forward instead of standing still etc. Sign?
Ugh. Quit reading tea leaves and piles of bones looking for signs. We are all about ACTION here.
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W is an introvert and says she needs alone time. What I want doesnt matter per usual.
LISTEN TO HER. GIVE HER TIME AND SPACE. You're whining about your needs not being met? What about HER needs?
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Trying to focus on work and things I enjoy. Reached out to a few friends to try to make plans this weekend. Nothing set in stone. Still having a hard time connecting with other men.
Good! Make it happen!
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I want to be less needy but...
There it is again- but. How about just working on being less needy.
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my needs like healthy communication, dating or getting coffee or some activity just the 2 of us 1x per week, somewhat consistent sex / romance. Are those unrealistic? I honestly feel like Im prettty healthy but the attachment to her is not.
The expectations aren't unrealistic, just your timeframe. You want things to happen on your timeframe when instead you should be patient and let those things happen when they will. And quite right, the attachment is unhealthy.
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I told her those numbers and she said thank you.
Never grateful / thankful / positive / happy. Sometimes I ask myself... Why am I doing all this for her?
Well maybe I'm missing something but last I heard, "thank you" was an expression of gratitude. Were you expecting something more? Do you know what a "covert contract" is? If not then Google it, that's EXACTLY what you had in place. DROP YOUR EXPECTATIONS!!!!
