I liked your quote on her being "dead". I've had similar thoughts before as well.
Just quit engaging her as opponent or someone you need to prove something to. I know, you know, she knows, we all know that she hurt you. And you're still somewhat attached. And your W knows it too b/c you're still arguing with her.
You've come a long way, now just keep working on yourself. You know she texted you that she misses you. Maybe it really was an accident, although I don't think it was. Either way you don't need to prove anything to her and you don't need her to admit it to you. Live your life!
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
