You basically didn't believe what she told you about the text, then you put thoughts and feelings in her head and mouth which weren't hers, they were assumptions, and you proceeded to validate your own version.
I would ask myself "why did I feel the need to address it? and why did I assume how she was feeling and tell her as much?"
I would have never brought up the "I miss you" text as well. Also saying "Missing what we had is to be expected" sounds like your fishing to me to see if she would break down and throw you a bone. How do you know she misses what you had? How do you know it was a big ordeal for her? Then by throwing S3 in the mix it seems manipulative to me like your trying to use him and any sympathy she may have for him to get something out of her for your benefit just so you can here her say she is sorry, or whatever you are looking for.
You seem to sympathize/side with her on all fronts. U want het contact info? You two could be buddies.
Where did you find sympathy for her in my post? That was all about YOU. Why do you care so much if she mistexted you or didn't. Why the need to say something? What difference is it going to make in YOUR life if she knows you know it is BS. Sometimes we can just know something and not have to prove it. You basically made yourself look like you were the one having those feelings.
But you have this need to call her out. I guess if it makes you feel better, knock yourself out.
My inner work needs to be done as to why I keep coming back to try to help, when I get a childish defensive response like the one above. That's what I could work on.
You seem to sympathize/side with her on all fronts. U want het contact info? You two could be buddies.
OK, you continue to lash out at people, who free of charge, are trying to help you. I know you've poopooed IC in the past, made half-hearted attempts. Etc. But I am telling you, from personal experience, if you do not get to the root of your own problems you will end up back in a similar situation in a few years. Ginger is trying to show you that, while you've convinced yourself of a fact (that may or may not be true), that you are continuing to try to get what OK wants out of it. I am guessing this is something you did throughout your relationship with the STBXW as well. Why? Why is that need there? That is for OK, not STBXW, to figure out and deal with.
You've bit my hand before when all I was doing was trying to help you. You've done it to Ginger and others repeatedly. Then storm off in a huff if you post something and don't get any responses. Let me guess, you are right and all of us are wrong.
OK, I've said my peace. Continued prayers for you, and your sitch.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I cannot for the life of me figure out why you are so tightly wound.
Again, the assumption that I am upset/angry/defensive.
I am great, just asking behavioral questions.
Ginger, you have consistently played the devil’s advocate on her behalf, and have defended her manipulations on more than one occasion. This is why I have asked you in the past if you just like to debate with me, it certainly seems that way.
The constantly asked Question: Why do you care? seems to me an obvious one. If none of you cared, why are you all still on the forum?
I do care. She pushes my buttons, goes hot/cold on me, and generally does things to maintain everpresence in my life, despite being the one to go running away.
Steve, I have been going to IC for almost a year, I don’t recall ever “poopooing” it. Just the first IC I had. I have had a lot of success since switching. I have told you several times I have been and do go to IC. SO why you keep parroting advice I took ages ago is beyond me.
I find it interesting that you always say how “you are all only here to help” but yet, neither of you ever chime in except to crap on my actions.
Other posters take the time to read my posts and ask questions. The two of you just glare down at me from your pulpits with your looks of scorn and frustration.
Sorry I don’t do exactly what you want me to or think I should. This expectation is reminiscent of how EXW would treat me. Attempts of control through the guise of “helping”
Joseph, Neff, Ovvr, MTB, your continued input is appreciated.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
I am not defending her actions! Ever! See, the point I am making is her actions are irrelevant. I don't give a cr@p about her. It's YOUR reactions I am trying to help you along with here. You are a cheesless tunnel chaser because you are so desperate for her to know what you are thinking. To call her out. Or to manipulate an apology or a feeling or an emotion you think she should be having.
That has nothing to do with her. It all has to do with you. But you will see what you will see.
If you can show me where I defended her, please do, and I will apologize for that, because my intention was to focus on your reactions which don't serve YOU at all.
But I think I might be chasing a cheeseless tunnel myself.
