I completely see what you’re saying and that’s what I have really been trying to think about. Would I even want this man back given the option? Living in fear this could all happen again? I don’t know, it’s somethinh I’d have to really soul search if ever given the option. Got into it yesterday a bit with him though. He came over to see d and I was getting ready to leave and he mentioned taking her somewhere Saturday night. I said to him “if you take her somewhere, she is to be NOWHERE around this girl you’re seeing” and he said to me “I know that, I’m serious about that. More serious than you know” like hinting if I have a man he doesn’t want him around him. And I said “well you’re seeing someone so you’re obviously not THAT serious about it” and he said “I’m not discussing this right now” and I said “of course you’re not” and I left. Backstep I know but I got a text from him a few minutes later saying if he doesn’t work Saturday he’s taking the dog to the vet.
I was worked up over our little spat so I responded saying I’m busy and didn’t want to talk. He said “ok. So this is how it’s going to be?” I took a page out of R2C’s book and said “I’m not going to be your friend while you’re in a relationship with someone else. I’m coparenting with you, what else do you want from me?” And he said he’s not in a relationship, he’s only focused on getting his feet on the ground for himself and his daughter so “f” what I think I know.
I told him he made the choice of 2 women outside our marriage, so when saying things like “this is how it’s going to be”. Of course it is. And I don’t want any part in that situation.
He went on to say our marriage is supposed to be a relationship and we didn’t have one and he’s not doing anything wrong bc our marriage is just a piece of paper and he can’t believe I’m putting this all on him. So I said pretty verbatim from R2c suggested about how he had legitimate complaints about my part in the dysfunction of our marriage and I acknowledge that but I don’t respect his decision to run and I definitely don’t respect his decision to see someone else, so at this point I just want nothing to do with it. His response was “well I guess one of us hates the other now. Nice!” Saying I hate him. And the. He said “so I guess we will only communicate when we swap the baby??” And I didn’t respond. When I got home I went right into my room and he left. We won’t see him today bc it’s not his night. Thank God. I don’t feel as good today as I have been but I do feel like I’m gaining a little more of myself back. I didn’t handle it great clearly, I let my anger and emotions take over more than I would have liked. But he needs to know he can’t do this and then just me pretend like he’s done nothing to hurt me or like I would just take him back. I love him, and him with OW makes me absolutely sick as hell, but I need my dignity. He’s not taking it from me again.
