Finding my way into the light

[Holding]

Quite honestly, I would find a way to take that dinner out of the decree. With kids schedules and activities, a weekly planned dinner is really difficult. I couldn't plan a dinner time or a night for the life of me right now. We shove things down our throat and get moving!

What exactly brought about such an arrangement. Why isn't your night your night and her night her night? Seems like too much intermingling of time to me......

The Wednesday dinner is becoming a pain, but it's a way to not go so long without seeing the kids, since we have alternating 7-day custody. This was something we agreed to at mediation. I was pushing for 7-day alternating since it would be less moving around for the kids, and she wanted some weird deal with 2 days hers, 2 days mine, and alternating weekends. I think the dinner was part of the compromise.

I was kind of wondering the same thing as Ginger. My kids were adults when we D'ed so we didn't have any custody stuff, but the kids were still young enough to be under an actual agreement with XH's first XW when he and I married and though she's a crazy psycho, they still didn't have anything that structured set up in theirs. Seems like too much overlap and kind of intrusive, not to mention it will get harder as the kids get older and are involved in more activities.

You're right, it is getting more complicated (especially since XW is keen to sign them up for school activities without my agreement). I have a feeling we'll be heading back to court in a year or two. Maybe we can address it then.

So does anyone have advice on how I can handle the current sitch?

I'm thinking of offering 2 options and letting XW decide:

1. She accepts Thursday dinner as that's what's been on the calendar for 3 weeks. If she can't go, maybe her parents can take them since they're in town.

2. Otherwise, we follow the strict wording of the decree. Dinners are always on Wednesdays, and if there's a school event or other scheduling conflict, the parent not in possession simply loses out.