To follow up on the subject of NC with your W, and the advice from D14's IC...….are there times during the 24 hr day that you and W are together in the house? I was wondering if D14 sees Mom & Dad not speaking to each other or giving any acknowledgment of their presence when in the same room. If this is the case, the atmosphere must feel very tense for everyone. It makes for some uncomfortable times around the dinner table.
This is just my opinion. If you have kids and are staying under the same roof, then for the sake of the children show a little interaction with the other spouse. Say hi, bye, pass the salt please, or something...…..just as long as the other spouse is decent and doesn't show some type of disrespectful reaction when you open your mouth.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
To follow up on the subject of NC with your W, and the advice from D14's IC...….are there times during the 24 hr day that you and W are together in the house? I was wondering if D14 sees Mom & Dad not speaking to each other or giving any acknowledgment of their presence when in the same room. If this is the case, the atmosphere must feel very tense for everyone. It makes for some uncomfortable times around the dinner table.
This is just my opinion. If you have kids and are staying under the same roof, then for the sake of the children show a little interaction with the other spouse. Say hi, bye, pass the salt please, or something...…..just as long as the other spouse is decent and doesn't show some type of disrespectful reaction when you open your mouth.
hi sandy.
WW has moved out. according to her she found a “place to stay”. might be true or she might just be shacking with POS. the only time she spends time in the house is when i work, i do nightshift. so in the 13 hours that am gone, according to D14. there is no communication between the two of them. As i’ve said, WW’s mantra, “if she down want to talk to me then i won’t talk to her”.
if ever there’s convo between them, it always ends with WW screaming or yelling at D14, that’s why D14 just finally decided to stay in her room.
WW was out fishing with POS during the weekend. D14 saw photos of her in IG showing her catch. friends tetxted me asking if I caught some myself, (only people that know are two of her long time friends, and i don’t go around telling everyone about her A) just told them no.
Friend that knows about her A, texted me and told me not to let me know she went fishing. Hmmm, very fishy.
And yea, [censored] she was out doing [censored] with OM. That's the way it goes. What did you do all weekend, anything good?
ovrr,
not really caring what she’s doing with her life. just funny that she’s still trying to hide her waywardness. weekend was ok.me and D14 went out of town to get some ethnic food. went shopping. farmers market. I did my daily routine. gym//bike/hiking. was going camping but, it was really pouring outside.
update... just got done with D14’s IC. WW was present. asked permission from IC if i could ask WW for a while. asked q’s on why were here and what are doing and ask permission from IC if i could take over for a while.
LBH: hey WW why are we here?
WW: to make D14 go through this and be a better person.
LBH: that’s one of the reasons, but one main goal is to rebuild her R with you. s WW:yes?
LBH: so. we’ve been here a couple iof times and IC had some recommendations, and we still don’t see any changes? IC: yes
LBH: IC, am not trying to take over the convo here, but if you can give me a little bit of time. WW, your mantra of “if she doesnt want to talk to me, i won’t talk to her.” is not working. maybe you need to change your approach. I am sorry that you feel that am pulling her away from you, alienating her, blackmailig her. if i want to do those things, we won’t even be here. your actions are not working. maybe you need a different approac
WW: well, i try to text her and she won’t reply. and it’s hard to push someone to let them know that you love them and they don’t try to love you back.
LBH:: i know that feeling, i’ve been there, but this is your D14, you can’t just ignore her.
IC: that makes sense. D14 is hurt and angry but she’s not saying she wants you (WW) out her life. WW: i tried texting her, she doesn’t reply an when she does reply, they’re hurtful and disrespectful.
LBH: WW whatever she tells you and her replies, don’t come to me. but make no mistake, i always tell her to be respectful.
in the end of the session, IC encouraged WW to be more involved in D14’s life and just keep on communicating with her even if she doesn’t get any replies. with regards to WW’s A, it’s just funny that she knows its wrong, she knows D14 is angry at her because of it, and yet she doesn’t show any signs of stopping. the longer WW stays on her path, the farther away D14 moves from her. and i cannot be a doormat to rebuilding their R. i will let WW know D14’s whereabouts, plans, and thats about it. it’s up to WW to make a move.
