I support Betsy's position on this. Your frequent hints at suicide are an abuse of your friends on this board.
While each and every one of us feels great compassion for your emotional turmoil, NONE of us deserve to be controlled by threats of terminating your life.
You're STUCK because you CHOOSE to be stuck. If your life revolves SOLELY around CHL and your R with him, then YOU and YOU ALONE are responsible for that.
Suicide is not only cowardly it is the ultimate act of selfishness. It's NOT an escape from pain...it's a persons final act to control those around them.
I for one am greatly bothered by your musing about taking your life, because I lost my son to violence a few years ago and would give absolutely ANYTHING to have him here with me today, you have no idea how painful death is for those left behind to deal with it and my beloved son didn't choose it for himself, some thug chose it for him.
YOU need to get counseling, check yourself into a hospital or whatever it will take to get your life back on track.
EVERYONE HERE, AND I MEAN ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE, wants you to be happy again, to enjoy life again...but YOU AND ONLY YOU are capable of making the decision to do that, because HAPPINESS is a decision, it just doesn't happen through osmosis. T2
