I have to say that I'm really disappointed to read your posts today. For many reasons.
Some of you guys know that I found my brother hanging from a noose in our basement when I was 22 years old (he was 16). He is alive because I found him. His scars are deep, but I can promise you that mine are just as deep and scary.
However, I was constantly subjected to his incessant musings about commiting suicide--well after his thwarted attempt. It made me very angry. Why? Because there was nothing I could do or say to change that thought process, and quite frankly, finding his body once was enough for me.
My sister finally initiated a 3 way call to him with me on the line and said to him, "Brother, Betsey and I, as well as a host of other people who will remain nameless, have had to hear your threats for way too long. And we will no longer stand for it. If you choose to end your life in such a cowardly fashion, we will be sorry and miss you. However, if this is some sort of pathetic attempt to get attention from us in the hopes that you will get us to beg you not to, it will no longer work. We are no longer willing to have conversations with you under this sort of mental subterfuge."
Pam, that is exactly what I'm going to say to you now. It is not fair of you to expect BB posters who cannot be with you to talk you out of something as drastic as terminating your life. I empathize with your pain, and find compassion toward you. But if your life is painful enough to consider ending it, then I must ask you to call a suicide prevention line. THEY are the ones who can assist you best.
I'm sorry to speak strongly, but I do not feel it is fair to the friends you have made here on the BB to invoke the sort of cyber guilt that this invokes.
I wish you well.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
