Thank you so much everyone. Steve, to hear you think I did a good job over the weekend makes me SOO HAPPY you have no idea! You and r2c have been my guides through this entire process, I am so grateful to have you guys and ALL OF YOU on my side through this journey.
After work yesterday H sent me a text that he will not be going out of town anymore next weekend. I didnt respond, as it was an informational text and I didnt see a reason to. 2 hours later he sent me another text saying "hello??", since I didnt respond I guess.
I waited a little while and then just responded "ok". He wrote again saying his mom wants to see the baby and can we arrange something, I said ya and he responded thanks and that was that.
I was surprised to receive the "hello" text. But after work yesterday I went home, made myself a nice healthy dinner, fed the baby, bathed her, let her play while I ate my dinner, then got some stuff done around the house and had a pretty nice evening to myself with D. He comes tonight to see D, so I will leave when he gets there and I have plans to go get my nails done and maybe go search for some new heels for the wedding I have coming up this weekend.
I have my moments, but I really do just keep trying to remind myself, would I even want him back? Would I be able to live that way, nervous about his every move, scared about who he is texting, how hes feeling, is he thinking of someone else, etc. What he is doing is wrong and its so hurtful and hes trying to deflect that by constantly bringing up the past and things I did wrong. I dont doubt his feelings at all, im not belittling them, but it doesnt justify what he is doing.
I know when he comes over he feels better bc he gets that glimpse into our world, so I kind of hate that tonight is his night, id like him to have to miss us a little more. But its ok. I will leave as soon as he gets there.
