I guess this is piecing

[Did]

From my phone sorry for typos. You’re right we aren’t piecing. Honestly we aren’t even close. I need to be more patient. Sandi pretty harsh but youre right. We don’t have our home it sold. She says she hasn’t talk to OM and isn’t sexting with anyone and she is seeing therapist today. She knows how unhealthy she was being. But no she doesn’t want to live together although last weekend she talked about it. It’s just so inconsistent. Last weekend were together and everyone’s happy talk about future houses and our families being supportive then this week if I ask about the appointments the therapist offered saying she fills up quickly. Or do you want to do something Saturday and now the future is anxiety. Why am I pushing or wanting to be with someone who is unstable. I know it’s just going to hurt myself. Hurt people hurt people. And she’s hurt all over.

Yes. Everything is on her terms I told her last night that it wasnt ok. That I’m human too and it can’t just be all about her. She hates hearing this and says she told me she isn’t ready yet. I guess I have to just validate and do my own thing. How will this change... Just back off? My only option is to enjoy my picnic I guess. The deep conversations when she opens up and were sleeping together or kissing and holding hands.
All the connection s have happened when she’s down. And when she’s in a good place she doesn’t want to make plans. Nothing physical when she’s feeling healthy. She stills has walls up. Things are only good when she’s been down and I’ve been there for her. It hurts.