26 and trying to save a marriage

[SteveLW]

lg. In both of my wife's EAs, the one 2005 and the one at the end of last year into this year, the thing that almost ruined everything for us was my micromanaging her. Tracking her. Tracking her computer usage. Tracking her cellphone usage. Etc. At one point in the one in 2005 she says she felt like a trapped, caged animal. And she started doing things she didn't care if I saw. Earlier this year I had a moment of weakness and asked her to unlock and look at her phone. Had her look into apps and install apps that had been uninstalled.

In both cases things started getting dicey because it overwhelmed her. I suspect this is going on with your wife. You need to back way off. And let her be. As others have said, focus on you and improving yourself, not trying to control her.

Read the validation thread for improving that. Help out with your stepson as much as you're comfortable with. But be busy too. "Sorry can't watch him tonight....I have plans." And have plans!!