So sorry to hear about what you are going through. This MLC or depression or whatever it is, is so darn hard. Excruciating, really. I don’t know what the “right” answer is to your questions. My H still has a key to our home because he hasn’t fully moved out and is not yet sure that is the direction he wants to go. He just knows he needs to be away right now. He is also spending a few days a week with our kids in our home as I have other things going on. However, he is aware on some level that he has lost the right to just come and go as he pleases. If he is coming by, he asks me if it is okay ahead of time. In your case, with your H signing a lease and moving boxes and the OW, I would probably ask for his key. The house may technically belong to him as well but he has made it clear he does not live there. Question #2... that is a tough one. My gut instint would be to make myself scarce. If my H ever decides to move out fully and head towards D, that is one move out day I would feel perfectly happy and justified to let him handle on his own. So I vote for taking off for the weekend. I think it will be easier on you in the long run. With respect to your boys, I would give them a choice about what they want to do. This is not just the break up of a marriage, your H is breaking up a family. I’m sure this move is not something they are happy about either. I would not subject them to it unless they want to be there. And your H would be a complete A** if he expected them to help. I think he has clearly lost that right.
So that is my two cents. If you can find posts by BluWave on here, I would read them. Her H took off for 10 months and then returned. I find her posts very helpful and reassuring. I KNOW how painful this is... how incredibly unfair. Stay focused on you... detach... GAL. I have my first “girls’ night” on Wednesday. My twin and I and a good friend are going out for dinner. We are going to make girls’ night a regular Wednesday night appointment. Prior to my H moving out, he and I had talked about making Wednesday our date night but that is kind of out the window now so I decided to make it my date night... with myself. He is going to be coming over every Wednesday after work to spend the evening with our kids...cook them dinner, monitor homework, put them to bed, etc... while I’m out with friends. I am so looking forward to it!! I’ve spent the majority of the last few years waiting for my husband to “get better” so we could get our life back. I’m not waiting any longer. He will do what he does and maybe there is an “us” at the end... time will tell. But in the meantime, I am getting myself together and finding out what makes DejaVu happy. Crazy as it sounds... despite my periodic meltdowns of terror... I am grateful that things have happened the way they have because at least I am no longer in limbo... I am moving forward with hopefully a minimal amount of backward steps. Keep posting. I think it helps immensely. ((((KIWI))))
