Just keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can

[marina7]

OneArt,Neffer,peacetoday,kyh and DnJ,Job
And anyone who has been here giving me great advice
Thank you

It's been rough the last couple days.
W monstering I honestly thought we where pass
the monster stage.

If I can post everything W tells me, but I know all
Mlc scripts arr the same.

Lots of blaming again, nothing I see
or do is ever good for W. Which I do things I would
have always done for our kids. Is just tiring how
W twist words around or text basically over and
over again how I keep kids away, or kids are
Disrespectful because of me.

Basically same BS .. is like dejavue witg W last year.

I am just frustrated about the trio's are not together
for good, or W pays the minimum in child support
And when I ask for help W says the $400 is enough
When I really just wanna cry, scream or laugh.

Kids are hurting financially because I am doing what
I can. In the last 1 year and 7 months I have
not purchased nothing for myself. As I have 3 growing
Kids. Every cent I have goes for them. And then I see
W smiling and new clothes and sneakers and traveling
I must admit it hurts.

Now I question and dig down is this my karma what have
I done in my past for me to be going through this pain
Or what have our kids done. I know many will say No is
Not your fault it just feels something I did wrong.
While W has money, house, food ect
I have to penny pinch to make sure every months
Kids and I have a roof and food.

But I will say I have grown from this experience. I once had it
All I thought I was above the world good job, money, traveling
Shopping, eating out. But I also realized and have question myself
Was I really happy. And I wasn't Yes I had it all. But no happiness.

Now am here. Taking it a day at a time, wondering what tomorrow will
Bring. Times are tough yes but I am also blessed I am alive
I have a roof over our head, we have food. My MS has been
under control. I still walk I still can smell the air. I am here.

I also know we LBS are healing. And things will get better for US.

Thank you again everyone