Reaching for Trust

[Janehiswife]

Pam,

I have never replied to your posts before, but in reading last night I came across something you said, and it feels as if our situations have a commonality.

You know I wonder if she will live up to in reality the picture he has always held in his mind of her? She was his first intimacy, and when we were dating he talked about her, never by name, and said he met someone one time he should have married. But I don't think he can live with her temper and the screaming. So I guess we'll see. She dumped him that first time and I felt he sort of put her on a pedestal or enshrined her or something.

Stop by my thread, read about my sitch and let's chat if you feel you could use a new friend.

Warmly,

[dfb]

Jane, how are you doing??

[psluke]

Wrote this e-mail to David but at least have the sense not to send it. Which is better than I used to do. Although I have sent several e-mails this weekend. But try to sit on them for several hours or overnight before sending them.

He had said he would come back over and we would talk some more. Guess I should have known better than to expect he would do what he said he would do. He sucks at that, just gives someone an answer he thinks they want to hear and has no intentions of actually doing it.

I can't tell you the number of times I have seen him do the very same thing to his mother. As a matter of fact I think that is where he learned to do that type of avoidance. Because she is very controlling and always wanting him to do something, and he says maybe, or we'll see, just to get her off of his back.

Hi,

Hope your weekend went well, wasn't sure if you had to work or went to the dog shows.

Mine is still up and down. I would go along pretty well and then this feeling of absolute horror would sweep over me that my life is in ruins and that I'm really going through this horror of a divorce all over again.

I guess in a way I am disappointed in you.

Not that you are divorcing me, although that as well, but that you are doing it for another woman. Especially one that has had numerous affairs and it is public knowledge. I always thought you were a very private person, but I had forgotten that you and her carried your affair on in public the first time as well.

I honestly would have thought you would have picked up more from the bb than to run to another woman while trying to sort your marriage out. That you would have seen how easy it was to get infatuatiad, especially if you were going through a rough patch in your life and your marriage. Then your life situation changed and it made the ow even more applealing. Because suddenly you were like young and single with no responsibilities again.

You ditched the house, the kids and the wife. Can we say mid life crisis?

I really, really gave you more credit for intelligence than to take that route, especially after the books you read and all the reading and posting you did on the bb.

[psluke]

Hi Ellie,

I wish I felt that way about him. Not sure why I don't after everything he has done.

I do hope if he marries her she makes his life really miserable!

I don't love him enough to wish he and her happy!!

[psluke]

Hi dfb,

I am glad he was finally honest with me about the affair.

I really would have thought he would have known better from all his reading on the bb.

Did he just not take it all in or is he saying to himself, yes, but my R with J is different?

Who knows. I actually hope they make each other miserable.

[psluke]

Hi Odga,

Thank you so much for stopping by. I really am glad to hear you are starting to feel better.

So how long did it take after the d for you to start feeling better, several months?

[psluke]

Hi Cathy,

Well, at least D has someone to enjoy life with, rather than be alone.

I don't really have anything I want to do. I am finished with my horse hobby, no longer really have a dog to show or an interest in going where I will run into J, D or D.

FB would be good I think, but I don't feel right training and showing him. Although if he ends up marrying the B*tch I might for the h*ll of it!!! Where they can see just how good the dog really is!

[psluke]

Hi H2H,

Thank you for the post.

I really can't believe anyone wads through the junk I post.

I appreciate that you say I have come so far. Sometimes I feel I have, and sometimes not as much, and it was all for naught. It wasn't enough to save the marriage.

I pretty much spent this weekend on my sofa.

I did tell my friend that I am planning to come starting this week in the evenings to help her do property tax returns. Shoot maybe I will earn some extra money!

I just haven't felt like reading much at all lately. I know Sage reads like crazy, and I like to read, but just haven't had a desire to do so in quit a while.

Thank you for the reminder of the friends I have on the BB.

[psluke]

Hey dfb,

I did pretty much stay off of the computer!

I wadded through a lot of emotions this weekend. I hope I have started to process them enough that the worst of it is over, but I'm sure going to the A's office to sign the papers and then getting them I suppose in the mail is going to suck big time.

[psluke]

Hi Jane,

I did stop by your thread and read your sitch. I just didn't know what to say. I'm afraid right now I am working through shock and horror as my main two emotions and really the brain is basically not functioning too well.