Hi Harvey, I admit I have only skimmed over your thread, but I saw something in your first post that jumped out at me, causing a few questions. Was this southern state the same one you had initially planed to move to? Does she have relatives or friends there? Did your company pick this state or you?
The first thing I noticed that raised a red flag, is the fact she was there less than a month until she informs you she wants a D. Less than a month! Tell me why a woman would be so anxious to take her kids and move to another state, without her H...…...and four weeks later, is telling him she wants out of the M? I don't mean the excuses she gave about starting school, etc. I'm talking about what was really going on in the relationship.
So, getting personal here..........have there been previous problems in the relationship? Alcohol, drugs, anger issues, problems with in-laws, jealousy,abuse...……..or anything you recognize as being a thorn in the MR.
Has there ever been an incident where either of you were guilty of inappropriate behavior with the opposite sex? How about secret friendships, or those that exclude the other spouse? Know of any emotional affairs? Has there been any cheating from either of you?
Is your W currently employed, or does she depend totally on your income?
Here's the thing, Harvey. This screams of something going on that isn't being discussed (unless I missed it). I understand how the job and other outside stressors can affect a MR. But speaking as a woman, I just feel there is something more going on. Your W's actions don't sound like the those of a logical woman. The puzzle pieces don't fit, and I'm not seeing the whole picture. Am I missing something that has been discussed?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
