I have told W my dealbreakers she can not love another man and be with me. She is going to feel a sense of loss having to stop this pen pal sex relationship with OM2. She needs to be in therapy. She needs to tell her friends and family about us. If she does these things we can talk about a relationship. But until then Im not committing to anything.
That's perfect, too many people just roll out the red carpet to their WAS and as a result the WAS doesn't do the hard work they need to in order to make recon have a chance.
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She has said she chooses me, she says she loves me.
That's great. You are going to struggle with trust for quite a while, please read the threads of some of the other guys that are piecing to get an idea of what you will be going through. I never got there, but many people who go through piecing say it is the hardest work of all.
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Now she sees me and thinks Im this amazing man. She sees me as a dad as a provider, a lover and thinks of me very highly.
That's awesome! It really does sound like she's got the right mindset, so congrats!
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Anyway as far as I can see we are piecing. I can hardly believe it and Im trying to take it with a grain of salt. I cant really trust her. But it feels right, natural. It doesnt feel as crazy good as Id expect not having her for so long. It just feels normal, like I married her for a reason.
Just be prepared for some backslides. She's going to miss her fantasy life and may be grieving for a while. She'll run hot and cold a while, it's to be expected.
