I think that is normal. I think most of us, even when we began to embrace D, were torn. I think the biggest thing you have to get past is the notion that maybe if you hang on a little longer then things would turn around. If you can move forward without that regret then you are ready, even if you still have a desire to try to save things.

Even those (like OrangeK's) where D was definite talked about that "yearning".


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018