Hi Dejavu, I just read through your stitch and can relate to so many of your feelings. Since I am struggling myself a lot, l don’t think I can give you a lot of advice. Be strong, be the person you can be proud of, think of your kids. I just wanted to let you know, I am thinking of you this morning. My husband just signed a lease for his own place. He will be moving out in 4 weeks. Some days I hate him, some days I love him and every day I struggle how to interact with him. Good luck to you.