Wife is not who I married ... Pt6 pls help!

[LoneWlf]

It’s fine if he doesn’t want to talk about it. There’s nothing more you need to say. Just let him know you’ll be telling his mom about public events where he is participating.

This is different from keeping a confidence about, for example, who he is romantically interested in. Keep those confidences.

Right now you are withholding even the sort of information the school notifies home about. Your son is acting immaturely because he is a teenager. You are an adult. Again, what would you do if he were angry at your wife and she still lived at home?

Kids don’t always like our parenting decisions, so we can’t base our actions on what makes them happy.

Rose- RR- Neff-Sia and all others-

Please believe me when I say this- I am aware it is best for S and W to have a relationship so that S can remove all the anger he holds within. I acknowledge that I may hold anger still at W. I acknowledge that I need to work on control issues. I have tried on various occasions to initiate and facilitate interactions between W and S.You can see it early in my thread. On one occasion just the fact that she was coming to the house and did not show -this put S into deep anxiety and turmoil- so much -that he had his worst game of baseball. Btw the school never called about the awards night. S just told me was playing at the school for the band for awards night the day it happened and said he would not be home for dinner along with please don't tell mom. W never reaches out to me about daily stuff -she only texts me when she need to come over to do clean up. It is when we are face to face w discuss S. I will not withold information from her about S.

Here's another case- I need to go away for a convention for my new job tomorrow and will return Thursday. I inform S16 about this new job and possible travel that goes with it. I validate that he is a young man and that he feels he does not require supervision. With out bring in up his mom and reiterating that he needs adult supervision I ask him what he feels is a valid solution. He responds I want my favorite aunt ( never married no kids) to stay with me. Now I will not ask W to come over to clean on her own bc I know it makes my sister uneasy bc of our current situation.

My point here is I'm not trying to be "the Disney Dad". I've NEVER swore or cursed about my wife to my S or even better still- to my Ws face. I have not ever said anything bad or slandered her to my S. I think that you may all feel that I am projecting anger towards my W when she is around but I will respectfully disagree because I try to remain upbeat and positive in our interaction. I know I am not perfect - and will always be be under construction. I too try to be mindful and critical about my actions and words. I have along way to go.

RR - you mentioned a sense of urgency. Well it almost a year since BD and her actions and words remain consistent to wanting S and D. In terms of myself - I'm not sure what I want . I assure you being a firm believer I want to honor my vows and covenant. As far as feelings go -they are not there for my W ( feeling do change). As for where I go- I know I must continue on this journey of self. Becoming more mindful and aware of my actions and words. To be more in tune with my emotions and channel the right outlook. And with the grace of God S,W and I will all find peace maybe together maybe separate. Just need to stay positive!

Thanks again for your caring words. Blessings!