Thank you FlySolo. I have calmed down quite a bit In an hour. I think I was mad but not surprised as i have been anticipating his day would come. It is just so unbelievable to me. One week ago today, he was supposed to be moving back home and was talking about just being away a couple more weeks when I told him to go and to only come back when he wanted to be here. And after processing for the last hour, I don’t know what I want. I thought I knew this man. I thought he was my forever person. Why do I want him in my life? Do I want him in my life? Divorce, single parenting... these are things I never, ever thought I would face. I am in my room looking around and he is still here. His clothes are here. HIs dirty laundry is still in his hamper. His life is here... our life is here. How could it end this way? The thing with my H is that I really don’t think he is the kind of person who will come back. He almost did two weeks ago but I think it was too much for him to face and he has made a career out of avoiding difficult feelings. He is also too weak to go it on his own which is why he has found this OW. I don’t want to fight with him. I don’t. I just feel so sad for our kids and strangely enough, for him. That he is so broken. And he is so good at hiding it. And this OW... the part that really bothers me is that she has two kids (14 & 16) and my H has been spending more time with them than he has with our kids. The worst part is... they are students at the school he teaches at. How brutal is that? What is he thinking?? Sigh...I just cannot understand how anyone could do this to the people who love him the most. It is beyond comprehension... something I am just not capable of doing myself. Probably why I am so trusting and he has fooled me for so long. I have no idea how tomorrow is going to go. My sister was here when I figured this out and I could see the look on her face... she thinks I should just kick him to the curb and not look back. She is probably right but she doesn’t have kids. Don’t know what tomorrow is going to be like. I’m not sure what to say. Mostly I will try to listen and not get angry.
