I read your switch and it is so close to my own that it is scary.
After breakdown there was 6 weeks or so where he made me feel terrible. He was never home (he works away a lot ask could get away with it) and when he was home he was either ignoring me or criticizing me. Eventually i put the idea of moving out into his head. So, I totally get your feeling that by asking him to leave you escalated it. But your H would have got there eventually on his own.
The two things that hurt the most in the early days was him suddenly taking a huge interest in the children and him acting like we were friends and that everything was fine, better even. like it was perfectly normal to send me pictures of the three of them trying on facemasks (the first night he had them over). He said a week after moving out "I dont know what I want but I like my space" (punch in the stomach). That was a week in, all smiles on his side, heartache on mine. And he has kept this smiley, everything is better now attitude ever since, now 7 months. Other than when I challenge his plans or assert some control. This is normally met with anger and accusations. What I am trying to say is that your H is in all likelihood pretending that everything is fine. He has to, because otherwise he has caused all this pain to you, to your children and to himself, for nothing. It has to be better to validate the decision he made. He is appeasing his guilt. He has some, hidden under the fog of depression, anger and resentment.
Anyway, I will follow your switch. Hang in there. His smiles arnt to hurt you, they are there to make him feel better.
