Currently W and I are talking about therapy. Fantasies are just that fantasies. Whether it turns me on or not is one thing. Doing it in life is another. She would no way do a 3soem with another girl. So why do it with another guy. She blushes when I even talk about this stuff face to face texting about it is another story. I think she has a text addiction with the oxitocin release of the positive chemicals. She is in this text fantasy many times but has had an experienced partner and learned alot about herself sexually. She says he was like a teacher and maybe she needed that for us to satisfy each other.... who knows. She is running on emotion. But we have had some deep talks and she recognizes this and is starting to at least think and try to consider things logically. She said she wants to write things down daily about things she wants for herself and for us. We will discuss these things in therapy. I have an appointment 10/9 with the sex therapist / marriage counselor. This woman is a doctor and highly thought of. W has said she needs the appointment and has so much on her mind. So she is going to see her first by herself. Then I will see her, then we will meet her together. Hopefully all before 10/24 when I go to Hawaii.
Today we did errands went to playground, out to lunch as a family. Her parents came over and I stayed for a bit said hi, then went to the gym. I have told W my dealbreakers she can not love another man and be with me. She is going to feel a sense of loss having to stop this pen pal sex relationship with OM2. She needs to be in therapy. She needs to tell her friends and family about us. If she does these things we can talk about a relationship. But until then Im not committing to anything. There are a lot of things to work on but we are communicating and we are completely honest. She has told me things that hurt and make me jealous. But talking through them is so much better. We are not hiding our phones or dating other people as far as I know at this time. She has said she chooses me, she says she loves me.
Is money an issue, sure. Could she be doing all this to extend support. But I do not think of her that way. Otherwise I dont think Id love her. I have to give her the benefit of the doubt there. She has talked about future home living together multiple times. So she is thinking of a future with us together. I think she is living in fantasy land with the sex etc. She isnt working or doing anything besides parenting and sexual fantasies as I can see, yes she cooks, grocery shops, has 2 girlfriends exercises etc. But I think that is all she has. We agreed she needs something more.
Now she sees me and thinks Im this amazing man. She sees me as a dad as a provider, a lover and thinks of me very highly. She definitely has some things to figure out. She sent me something on Instagram tonight like let me clean up my mess and asked me to sit there and love me as she gets through it... something from someone else on IG. But she wants it and Im not pushing.
Anyway as far as I can see we are piecing. I can hardly believe it and Im trying to take it with a grain of salt. I cant really trust her. But it feels right, natural. It doesnt feel as crazy good as Id expect not having her for so long. It just feels normal, like I married her for a reason. Marriage means a lot to me when I talked to her about that she told me I was an alpha man. I love her, shes the mother of my child, shes smart, sexy, deep but deeply troubled. We are very different but we have a lot in common too. She has agreed to therapy which is a huge step. She has said she is going to tell her friends and fam about us. I will wait and see Im trying to hold my heart in check... half expecting it to fall apart. I know she has strong feelings even loves OM2. She mentions us in the same breath a lot. She said something about him keeping the door open for the two of them I said obviously Im not ok with that. You cant love someone else and be with me. You cant report our sex and emotional stuff to him and be with me. She knows she will have a sense of loss there and she has cried about it and talked to me about it. She says they havent seen each other in months. She has always been into guys that are unavailable. I was that way when we met, tried to date others when we first got together.
Anyway its like a family again, I really hope it doesnt fall apart for D4's sake. Shes so happy. She is getting d4 to bed Im in her room. I coach all day tomorrow.... Ill keep posting. Definitely not going to text her much unless she reaches out first.
Thanks for the support, perspective and opinions.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
