Except for the child I am in a similar scenario to you. My W and I don't see each other, don't speak, and rarely communicate other than logistical (dog) or financial stuff. She has moved on, and I am working on it as well. By both words and actions our Ws have told us they are done with the MR and as painful as that is to hear and to accept we have no other choice. It is truly unfortunate that we ended up in this scenario, but here we are. All we can do is the best we can for ourselves, and in your case for your son. It sounds like you are reaching a place of greater acceptance and equanimity. Just remember that progress isn't linear and there will still be ebbs and flows which are normal.
Working hard to better ourselves is crucial, but not for our Ws. It has to be done for ourselves, and we need to keep working to be the best versions of ourselves. I will disagree with you on one point. We don't "deserve" better. "Deserve" has nothing to do with it since life owes us nothing. I often fell (and occasionally still fall) into the trap of thinking that since I am a good guy who leads a good life, I deserved something. Nope. It doesn't work that way. Life is sometimes going to take a sh$t on us, like it is right now, no matter what we do. Working on ourselves and being the best people we can be is no guarantee of anything. It has to be its own reward.
Hang in there.
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
