DB / Detach- Will we ever piece it together

[Did]

Lot has happened. W got in a car accident 2 nights ago. She was drunk. She was calling me from her car. Saying she didnt know where she was etc. It was bad. I was extremely worried. She got lucky a guy picked her up and brought her to my house and she went back and got her car the next day. She would of gotten a DUI for sure. I dont know why she went to my house instead of her own but she did.

We had more sex the next day. She talked to me about everything. The desire to have an honest relationship in every way. So she told me all her stuff. Her other men. She is pen pals with OM2 she says and she tells sex stories to him. She admits she loves him. I told him she would be with him if she could and she does not deny it. But they dont see each other. She thinks its because hes unavailable and its a fantasy. She knows he has a lot of flaws and when they were dating it wasnt good. She says they havent seen each other since June. I think she is lying but they arent seeing each other often. He asked her to kiss guys in the past then tell him about it. So she goes on dates then reports to this guy...

She told him about her and I sexually and how good it was. She said he told her it would be better for us being together after the separation. And that he likes hearing about it. He is the one who brought up the 3some with 2 men. He likes watching. She is into the idea partially because he is- my opinion. She continues to be overwhelmed by her sexuality and no where near balance. She sent me a pic in underwear last week and sent the same pic to another guy she went on a date with a few days before. That guy she said tried to hook up with her in the parking lot and she said no. Then he told her how hot she was and she told him not to date other people. The day after this date she asked me for sex and that's when we had the great sex. She says she doesnt like this new guy and hasnt talked to him... then why did she tell him not to date other people. She says she doesnt know.

She logged into her email on my phone since hers broke. She has draft messages shes deleted, a lot of them. Talking about his mental state, time, etc pleasing him and drafts of sexual fantasies. Her telling him a story and him getting aroused, how hot it is etc.

So I see all this on my phone and come back to the house and we talk it out. Then we get into the honest relationship she starts telling me everything.

So back to us.... She is saying she loves me she chooses me she doesnt deserve me shes sorry she feels horrible about herself. She wants to do therapy with sex therapist together and individually. She feels free about telling me everything - obviously this is where the anxiety comes from at least partially. She feels awful about car accident and about where shes at with all these guys like shes such a bad person. I have been positive remember how lucky you are. She told me she cant believe Im still here. She is choosing me she is so lucky. Im a great man Ive done the work Im a great dad Im hotter than any guy. She wants to use toys with me and experiment together and we have had some very sexual talks... I told her I think she is saying some of this because she needs someone. She did open up about a ton of stuff.

So she is saying she wants to date me and no one else. She jumped ahead and talked about what are we going to do in regard to living situation. Im uncomfortable and have a lot of anxiety about all of this. Obviously she needs therapy. I feel like I am either going to pull away or talk to her again. Do I hold out sex? Or just F and leave emotion out of it to satisfy both of our needs as we work through things? She has shared her phone with me and I have with her. She said if she pulls away and wants to distance herself she wont date and wont get online dating etc.

I have already said some of this and we've agreed but life is action not words. If she wants to be with me and continue to sleep with me she will: tell family and friends we're seeing each other, tell OM2 we're seeing each other and stop the sexual texting, be in therapy. We both want trust but how can I trust her. She has been Wayward x10...

Sigh... WTF.