I think part of my desire to date is also born out of a lack of patience. I actually pulled back and didn't respond to any of the women who wrote me on the one site. I don't know that I will definitely not date in the near term but at the very least I want to take some time to reflect on the intersection of my desires and values.
It's good self-reflection to realize that you're being impatient. There seems to be an adage here that wait at least 12 months before you start dating. I generally agree with that. It may take longer to feel ready, but everyone is on their timeline and the context of their sitch and its impact.
Yeh, take time to figure out the intersection between desires and your values. I can at least guarantee you that if you're acting based on your values - actively knowing that you are - you won't have regret. I mean that in anything that you do. With my communications now with W, I really don't care how she perceives it or reads it. I know that I am not pursuing and that I am communicating to her with respect and civility. I have also shut down communications from her when she overstepped my boundaries - not in a mean way, but I won't put up with nonsense. I feel 100% good about it. I don't obsess whether or not I should've done something else or said something else.
At the end of the day, if I am good with myself and what's transpired, I know I am living on my terms.
