Husband cheated, left, trying to DB 5

[LITB]

Kech,

What I have found, is that people are motivated to change when they are faced with loss. Loss of a relationship. Loss of a job. Loss of a loved one to death. I would be willing to bet that most people on these forums are more motivated to self-improve than any other time in their lives.

So how do you get to the other side? GAL to help you work through the anxiety and reduce the amount of time you dedicate to thinking of your sitch. It will also help you realize that no matter the outcome of your sitch, your life will be kick a$$.

Develop healthy detachment. This will help reduce the emotional impact you are experiencing. This should be applied to all relationships.

Also, please have boundaries. Set them and stick to them. Again, this will help you emotionally and it will help in the respect department.

You have to continue to put in the hard work to get through the healing process. When you get to the other side, then you can decide which direction you want to proceed.

See, your H hasn't faced losing you. There isn't a lot to motivate him to change....and there is no guarantee that he will. Just know that your changes have to be genuine and they have to be for you, because no matter what, you have you.

This is what I see now. You are hanging on so tight trying to stop a freight train (your H's relationship w/OW) that it is hindering the healing. Sadly, you have to get out of the way to allow it to run its course. I have no doubt that it isn't as great as you fear it to be. Eventually that relationship will move from fantasy to reality. That's when the rubber will meet the road. Try not to get hung up on that.

Do what is within your control, Kech.