I had a bit of an epiphany tonight. Even though I've been GAL, 180, and detaching, I wasn't truly detaching. In the back of my mind I've been thinking that if I could just buy enough time, my W will come out of her fog. However, she may not be in a fog. All the stress from the last months, maybe years could be lifting. She's more likely feeling free than sad. I finally really get it. GAL, 180, detaching is for me. Having a little hope is healthy, so that I don't get angry or bitter. However, I've gotten to the no expectations part. That truly hit home tonight. Basically, I'm divorced. The best thing I can do is get on with my life. Make me the best me that I can.
I have forgiven my W, but I've also forgiven myself. I'm a good guy, good father, and was probably a good husband for much of our marriage, but I lost sight of the little things. Perhaps another woman wouldn't have been so quick to kick me to the curb. Perhaps another woman needs me more than my W. I don't know. Only God knows what's in store for me, and I trust Him completely.
