Quote: And I bet that if they DO get married, that it will be unhappy fairly quickly. She doesn't sound very nice (and she isn't very nice with what she did).
No and I wish he would see that quickly.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Pam, My thoughts and prayers are with you today. I know this hurts but please try and keep in mind that this man that went to the courthouse today to divorce you is not who he used to be, he is a sad sad shell of that man. He has been influenced by a woman who used her friendship with you to take him away and he let her. She has even convinced him he had to go after more money in your settlement, when in fact if he just wanted it over, he would have walked away. I hope you stuck to your guns regarding the settlement and did not give in, he wanted out, he owed you. They are in for a big surprise as we all know. Their lives will not be what they expect as they have no compassion or decency and quite frankly deserve each other. It was mean and hurtful of him to tell you today of all days that he plans to marry her. He most likely wanted you to get upset and angry so he could justify what he is doing today. Let him go, he is not worthy of you. You have compassion and grace and would never intentionally hurt someone you cared about to get what you wanted. They will not be happy and if they do manage to create a life together it will only be because he cant admit he made a mistake, but this is not your problem. Someday, someone will come into your life and make you see that your are a wonderful, lovely caring woman. He will love you and want you in his life for all time. You will see, I promise. In the meantime, hold your head high, let the hurt come, feel it, and move on. You can do this. Regarding being his friend, maybe in time, a long time, but for now, Why? He isnt really a friend, as friends dont do this to each other. He is gone for now, whether or not he has the courage to be himself again and own up to what he is doing, only time will tell.
Live well, be strong and take comfort in the fact that you tried and are a better person for it.
I know David didn't want settlement details posted so I'm posting no numbers, but he was very generous and helpful.
I have 45 days to decide if I want this house at less than we paid for it 5 years ago. He doesn't even get his full down payment back this way and no equity.
If I don't decide to buy it we sell it, I get to live in it till it sells and help with mortgage payment. Plus when it sells we split the equity 50/50 rather than pull his down payment out first.
He is going to carry me on his COBRA until he can't. He has also agreed to pay a substantial amount of money for my dental work that needs done.
We are going to jointly continue to own the horses and try to find the best solution for homes for them. Splitting the money if we sell them.
I get to keep Frostbyte.
I also get a lot of the household contents.
He was very sweet today. Guilt I suppose.
He is either going to come back over or at least call me this evening.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Pam -- Just got back from school! I'm happy to see you posting and very happy that you and CHL were good to each other today.
I'm also glad that it seems like your financial part of the puzzle will be less of a worry for now...that should help you focus on using all of your worderful strength and insight and talent to figure out what's next for you, friend.
COBRA = no running out of your prescription, correct?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
You did it girl - you held your own today. I am so proud of you. Your future will be bright - it may not seem like that now, but remember I am on the outside looking in and with the personal growth you have achieved, there is nothing stopping you.
Sounds like the settlement worked out okay too - better than what might have happened in a rush. good for you for doing it with David rather than let a judge who doesn't know you decide.
Again, I am so proud!!!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
Hi Pam - No doubt about it, you came through with flying colours on a difficult day. Remember to celebrate these moments of personal growth. I'm so glad things went as well as they could have, given the circumstances. Thanks also for stopping by, I always appreciate your input and support. Slowly
