Forgiveness is something I still struggle with. My IC has implied I can't really move on to another R until I've forgiven my XW. I recently went through all the pics on my phone and deleted every pic of her - I don't need any triggers. I do know there were some good times in the M, but everything still feels tainted by this dark cloud. Does the cloud go away, or do we chose to just ignore it?
The cloud moves off to another part of the sky. Like you, I purged pretty much everything related to my own XW. She's been gone for over 2 years now and I can go multiple days without having any thoughts at all of her. When I do think of her it's in the context of someone I don't really like.
I do have buried in my Google Drive a bunch of pictures that include pictures of her / us. I don't look at them but don't want to throw them out. That time was a part of my life and lots of it was good. It's just not part of my current life.
I've not forgiven her and never will. My own approach is one of not caring. Most days that's where I am. A few things still trigger a fairly mild version of anger but that's getting less and less. The fact that I don't have to deal with her in any fashion other than sending her her monthly payment helps. And even that is annoying in the same context as it's annoying to have to pay a utility bill.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
