I figured Steve would be on here yelling st me by now lol.
All we can do is offer advice, it's up to you whether you follow it or not. If you don't, it's to your own detriment. We don't really yell at people for not listening although we do get frustrated at times. And like Sandi said, sometimes we just quit replying if someone isn't following advice because frankly our time is better spent with people who listen and follow through. So keep that in the back of your mind if you want continued support.
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By today can’t happen again she meant the R talk affecting her so much. Pressure guilt all this stuff she can’t handle. And she breaks down and it affects her a ton. I just have to completely stop with the R talk or expectations.
There is no one here that's the least surprised by her response. Applying pressure in the form of R talks just never, ever works. She is a whirlwind of emotions right now and the LAST thing she wants is you saying/doing things that just make it worse. TIME and SPACE is what you should give her.
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Not sure if I’ve mentioned this but she fantasizes abouthaving sex with a man and her partner watching then joining. Not sure fin that’s appropriate for this site. The last two guys she dated wanted to do that with her. So I’m not sure where the idea came from. But she has talked about being open to it in regard to being compatible long term. I’ve kind of tip toed the line saying fantasies and thoughts are fine but not sure about going down the path. Swinging is probably not for me A friend of mine had a friend commit suicide over things like this with sharing his woman.
This isn't a site for kids, and sex is a topic that often comes up in these discussions and it is fine to talk about it. We've had more than one person here who ended up here specifically because their spouse wanted to bring a 3rd party into the R "just for fun" but inevitably feelings get mixed up in it and the R deteriorated instead of getting stronger.
I encouraged my GF to share her fantasies with me and she had some pretty wild sexual fantasies including having a 3rd party involved. We explored her fantasies but just the two of us, and (without trying to be too explicit) using toys and imagination to sort of simulate a 3rd party. She later told me that that fulfilled her fantasies and that it made her happy I was so willing to experiment, but that she decided she would rather explore those things -only- with me. So basically I never told her "no" to any of her fantasies, but instead offered alternatives that didn't involve a 3rd party and that made her happy.
That said, I don't think the two of you should be talking about sex AT ALL. That needs to be tabled for now. Maybe you can discuss it down the road if you start working on recon.
