Jim, you've really grown over your time here and it's good to see you handling these last stages with grace. Of course you know that -normally- that letter would be a bad idea, but I think you're in a position now where it wasn't an act of desperation but one last attempt to do the honorable thing and save your M. So good for you. I think if nothing else it'll help you sleep better at night knowing that she knows your position.
Originally Posted by Davide
You say you are dating a nice girl who you relate to. I don't know your sitch, but if it resembles any of the many I have read on here wouldn't you be better off concentrating on her?
I can kind of relate to where he's coming from because he and I are close to the same age and were married around the same amount of time. I've had a GF for 3 years now, she is beautiful and sweet and thinks the world of me. We have so much more in common than I did with my ex. But still, there is this nagging in the back of my head, this wondering if I could have done more to save my M. I don't know where it is coming from, but I think the best way to put it into words is I was 100% loyal to my ex, I was in the R for life, no looking back. This whole thing blind-sided me, I never expected it from the woman who loved me so much before BD. So even though she was the one that ended the R and M and apparently never looked back, that loyal side of me STILL wants to leave the door open. It's crazy, and to your point in my case I would be much better off just focusing all my attention on GF but it's damned hard to turn 25 years worth of feelings off for good.
