I haven't had much to post, so I've not posted much. Things are moving along pretty well these days. For those of you who haven't read my sitch (and I don't expect you to), I've been going thru this a long time. Two and a half years since she filed and one and a half since she moved out. I have done pretty well with GAL and personal growth, but have had a very hard time detaching.
We had a long session with a mediator yesterday, and I think we have a settlement agreement. Of course the devil is in the details, but the financial piece is sorted, and we agree on the rest. It was all very anticlimactic.
There's a girl I've been dating, and she's very nice. We get along well, and she's going thru a divorce too, so we relate, and vent to each other.
Two things from my last thread are important now. First, in late August, we, W, and I, drove S18 to college, 11 hours each way, and W and I drove back alone. I was dreading it, but it was a very pleasant experience. I put no pressure on her, and when she dropped me off at home, commented on how she'd been dreading it, too, but how much she'd actually enjoyed it.
Second, about a month ago, shortly after our trip, and when we were very close to reaching a settlement agreement, I thought about talking to my W, explaining what I've learned about my failings and my contributions to the failure of our marriage, and asking if she'd consider one last counselling session and work with me to try and save our marriage. So I wrote down what I wanted to say, and read it after a mediation session last month. Her only reply was to ask for the paper I read from. We drove away, and I figured, that was that. I thought, "Right, I gave it a last, best shot, got nowhere, and it's time to move on with my life", put it out of my mind, and over the years, I've reached a point where I'm pretty detached.
So we're walking out to our cars after agreeing on the divorce settlement yesterday, and she says she's thought about what I told her after the other mediation session, says how much she enjoyed our road trip, and she said she'd like to talk about what I wrote.
I don't know if this will lead anywhere. I have low expectations because I don't see her as willing to do the work required, but who knows....
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
