Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 4

[Davide]

Thanks for the advice, Maika, I have read it a few times and am still processing it. I think part of my desire to date is also born out of a lack of patience. I actually pulled back and didn't respond to any of the women who wrote me on the one site. I don't know that I will definitely not date in the near term but at the very least I want to take some time to reflect on the intersection of my desires and values.

On another note, I am remembering how nice it was to have the W out of town for a few weeks (not to mention the 2 months I spent out of town this summer.) Our communication in those times was somewhere between minimal and non-existent and I grew accustomed to that. Then, on Sunday I saw her with OM out in the street. And yesterday afternoon she reached out via email to ask to change the night she was going to come by to take the dog out (I agreed since I was going out both nights anyway). Then she got a confirmation sent to her phone of a vet appointment for this weekend and was worried that there was something wrong with the dog so she texted me, and I assured her that the dog was fine (it's just a checkup.) Finally I saw her as I was leaving the gym - I didn't even notice that she had come in. I was climbing for 2 hours so it was surprising that I didn't even notice her.

None of these interactions was anything out of the ordinary but it was more contact in 4 hours than I was used to having in several weeks. I much prefer not to see her or interact her with her. These moments give her space in my head that I don't otherwise allot to thinking about the sitch. Despite being exhausted from a long day I really enjoyed my session at the gym and ended up sleeping like a log so it didn't affect my day or my mood too much at all. It's more of a minor irritant or stressor, a little prick of a reminder that stings for a couple of minutes and then fades away.

I can't imagine what it would be like to have to see a WAW on a daily basis like so many people with in-house separations do. It also does make me think even harder about moving to a different city as soon as the school year is over. Not having to worry about running into her is a weight off my shoulders. I suppose I could also just work harder to completely detach to the point where I don't even care if I do run into her.