Thank you AndrewP and OneArt for stopping by and your comments.
Andrew - I look at the women he has chosen and they have issues; both of them chased him and then didn't give him the freedom he desires, they are attracted to the lifestyle he can afford them and their kids, unfortunately he hasn't worked this out yet, He now says that he doesn't want to play family with someone else's kids which is a change in what he has said in the past, i am not sure how he is going to achieve his goal of finding his " long and fulfilling relationship" with this stance as most women of his age group have children or want to have more children, so his selection pool has become much smaller!
I will look up the book you suggested, it may give me some inspiration. I do intend on visiting Canada, I am not sure how far I will get on this visit, i have not set my route yet. I am not sure of the board rules about you telling me where you live so I can see where you are, perhaps job can advise on this?
OneArt - Thank you for your post, welcome to my story! History of the breakup with ow1 and my bd2 tells me that you are probably right, he can not face another failed relationship. The guilt from hurting yet another person due to his inability to stop and think before he acts is more than he wants to deal with, so coming to a compromise of dating would ease his conscience. i think she has done her panic " what can I do to keep him" so suggested dating to remain in his life and take him back to the beginning again. Whatever happens, nothing has changed, she still has the traits and family he does not like, so how can it ever end up a happy union ......
Haha, Bitterness, oh I have bouts of that occasionally, mainly surrounding money and his career. I try to look at it this way - what does me being bitter achieve? It doesn't gain me any of the things I have lost from him leaving, so whats the point of spending my energy on it. My life has changed so much since I was thrown on to this new path, I landed without elegance and a triple somersault, it was more like a crash landing, skidding along the gravel peeling the skin off all my limbs leaving rawness and pain, but the wounds are healing, it s taking a lot of time and processing, but it has started to happen and i realize that it is me that has changed, my thoughts and ideals are very different from when I was in a relationship with a guy who suppressed me. So now my life is not about him, its about me and finding out who I am and what I want out of life. I have a long long way to go and I still have lots of low periods, but I am starting to enjoy this adventure of discovery I am on.
