Hoosjim's 16th. Looks like we're piecing, folks.

[hoosjim]

Why does your W talk to him at all? Why is your W still working there?

1) We need the money
2) She really enjoys the job, particularly the patients she works with, many of whom have been coming to the clinic as long as she has been there (26 years).

She talks to that doc because he is the "senior doctor" in the practice, although not her direct superior--she actually reports to the practice manager-- and because they have become "friends". My wife is a friendly, open person, it is a small, collegial practice, and this doctor at some point obviously struck up a friendship with her. Also, my W is particularly close with this doctor's secretary, and she (the other secretary) is a regular participant in these "stay afters". For further color, the practice manager to whom she reports is the son of the doctor who founded the practice and for whom she originally worked when she came there out of undergrad school-- it is a relatively small practice with 5 docs, an x ray tech, and a PT clinic across the hall with several PTs, and then the respective admin and billing personnel. My W is technically the front office supervisor-- supervising the secretaries/receptionists while also serving as secretary to one of the doctors as well (not THE doctor.) On a completely coincidental note, i was friends with the founding doctor's daughter in college, but never met my W through her, and never even made the connection that that doctor was my friends' Father until AFTER my W and i had gotten together.

And, no, i am not comfortable with it, but W says, "we are just friends", "I am not 'on the hunt' for anyone and i am confident that he is not" and "I know what boundaries to keep."

After reading a newbie's thread today, where all 3 of the OM had befriended him, the LBS, before getting with his W, I am starting to wonder if the simple "smash the OM's face" approach is not the best.

Holy S. THREE guys that befriended him to get to his W? That's a new level of waywardness, and a new level of doormat-hood. Poor guy. Man... I can sympathize, though. It's one thing to lose your W to another man, it's a whole nother level of painful to lose her to a "friend" or someone you thought of as a friend. In my case, pretty sure the scumbag targeted me and played a waiting game solely to get at my W.

And, yes, the "new" me does in fact believe there is a place and time for punching the OM's lights out... "Man to Man" so to speak. If what happened to me in 1/17 happened to me now? There'd be fisticuffs. There almost were in my case later on, in August, after i had "woken up". Only the fact that dude was with his son probably prevented it... At least the son found out what his old man had been up to.

This doc sounds like a real piece of work. Does he not care about his reputation? Does his W know about all his antics?

According to my W, no one thinks anything of these after work get togethers... even the good doctor's wife... and i have specifically asked about that. In fairness, his W has actually been to a handful of these. All of which is pretty strange to me. I work in the legal community, and also have worked quite a bit in military circles, and there is no way in hell a married man in my organization could invite two women, one married and one much younger to stay after work and have a drink after hours in the office. In fact, i might be fired for doing so. But apparently no one bats an eyelash at this. IDK. Its really a head scratcher.