Reaching for Trust

[psluke]

Hi slowly and kitti,

Thank you both. Got a couple hours sleep and feel pretty wiped out.

Left message for my A to call me this morning.

I am going to see if I have to go if I'm not going to try to contest the D.

I mean maybe I'm ready for us to stop living this way as well.

He said we'll still be friends.

He also said he is planning to still post because I asked if after today he would post a goodbye to the bb or anything.

He said "Can't I still post?"

I said yes, I just didn't figure you would.

[sage]

Sending you hugs, warm thoughts and ADMIRATION.

How far you've come in this journey, Pam. You have worked SO hard -- faced your fears and your foibles (hey, we've all got them) and truly emerged a stronger, more grounded person.

I am TOTALLY psyched to see where your path takes you next...

Sage

[psluke]

Thank you so much Sage.

You know just remembered talking with G on the phone yesterday and he said he thought I had really spread my wings over this past year. That I had blossomed. That was a nice compliment because I didn't figure he knew me well enough to notice that.

You know the way CHL was talking last night it is like he thinks the D will basically change nothing in the r we have now.

[Phoenix_In_Bloom]

Good Morning Pam!

My thoughts and prayers will be with you today.

Sending you hugs.

[psluke]

Thank you PIB,

I hope you have a fun trip.

[psluke]

CHL is coming over and we are going to come up with some sort of settlement.

Just spoke with my attorney and I don't have to go to court.

I didn't want the memory of seeing him get up there and swear that our marriage was irritrievably broken.

I think that may hit him a bit harder than he thinks it will.

[MovinOn]

Hi Pam!

You're in my thoughts and prayers! You've come a long way!

Pattie

[psluke]

Well we almost have an agreement.

And he admitted he is probably going to marry Janice.

[MovinOn]

Pam,

Don't sweat that!! You've moved along way in the last months. You will be find and centered, guess he isn't.

Pattie

[sage]

Pam --

I'm sure that was hard to hear.

Remember how you started out this thread? it was a quote on trust -- believing that things are exactly as they should be even when that's hard to believe

I hope this doesn't feel like a platitude...here is a poem by Rumi that lifts my spirits:

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and attend them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of all furniture, still,
treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Sage