I read through the rest of Part 4 of your thread and I did notice something that caught my attention. You mentioned that after the birth of D you were put on some anti-depressants to help with your moods post-birth. And from my understand, you were briefly on them then you stopped. Am I correct?
My questions to you:
- How were you feeling while you were on them? - Did you experience a dip in emotions once you were weaned off them?
The questions above have nothing to do pre-BD. The next thing I will say does have to do post-BD:
I have experienced personally that emotionally-based decisions will cause problems 999 times out of a 1000. I want to commend you on keeping a level head and objectively expressing your feelings logically rather than emotionally. That is pure willpower there and you are demonstrating that admirably.
I know that you are having justified feelings when you are alone, anxiety, depression, crying, etc. which is all understandable. I also see that you have been having these emotions for well over a month now. Normal again. I kept on crying/having anxiety attacks/depression multiple times per day until about two months ago.
Two months ago, my medication was changed from an SSRI to a more potent anti-depression medication/anti-anxiety medication combo. A "just-in-case" prescription of Xanax was also prescribed to me for times in which I cannot take any more of the pain. A combination of the medication, GAL, and DBing has really helped me get my bearings and get me on track to a better me. I still have feelings and cry, but the times that happens are further and further apart.
Have you considered getting back on medication to help?
