Hoosjim's 16th. Looks like we're piecing, folks.

[hoosjim]

More color. So, the invite (regardless of how doctor phrased it) was not for a "one on one" after work drink. At least a couple of other people from the OR staff (prolly at least the nurses who like the doc) were coming as was his secretary, my W's younger friend. I gleaned this from overhearing W's phoncon with doc. More on that.

Doc calls W on the way home in his car, as W and i are getting into our own car after having stopped at a store to pick something up on our way to dinner. W, who is already sitting in car next to me, initially gets up and steps out of car as she is picking up the phone, and puts it on "private" (her phone is primary bluetooth on the handsfree in our vehicle). She starts to step back, but then stops herself and stands just outside of open door where i can still hear her. Doc is upset that his colleague died suddenly (suicide apparently) and about some other overlays with the situation. W is apologetic that she "just dumped that on him", talks a little about the sitch, and about the after work get together, from which i glean that it was originally planned to be several people and not just the two of them.

OKay, so, good--- it was not a one on one invite; not so good--- not sure about her inclination to semi-privatize the conversation with doc. And.... there clearly is what i would consider a tad too much familiarity there.

So, W and i have a convo that she starts about doctor and his W. "I think things are worse with them, these days", she says. "Oh?" I say, "how so?" So, she talks about doctor preparing for his W's 50th birthday, and not being really "into it" and "not wanting to do anything really special like fly off to an exotic locale" and that she (my W) "thinks that they are kind of where we were a year and half or so ago." I sort of casually mention the possibility of her (my W) befriending and talking to doctor's W (because they have bonded in the past) but W notes the difficulty of being seen as interfering and i then note the difficulty of having to explain to docs W why doc is confiding in another woman (my W) about his own W's drinking problem. In explaining all this about "similarities to our sitch" my w tells me something to the effect of that "she doesn't even want him touching her." To which i interject (calmly, but still directly and pointedly) "Whoah, wait a minute! You two are having conversations about touch and intimacy with his spouse?" To which she responds: "Now just wait a second, he said that kind of unsolicited when i suggested he get her a spa day or massage day or something like that for her birthday and he said 'she doesn't like anyone touching her, even me.'" Okay, so, slightly less alarming but.... I just don't like the dynamic with this doctor. He's a man, and, as a man, i know exactly what most men are like... and he is definitely in a struggling, maybe even SSM, and my W is a beautiful (and friendly) woman. In his position, with a woman like my W... the new me likes to think i would not be making a play... but dang if i wouldn't be really tempted.

Twofeet's questions:

Hoosjim, why do the nurses have a thing for this Dr.? hypergamy.

Are they having wine on premise after hours? Is this a hospital owned facility or private practice?
I only ask because if there is a policy against alcohol on campus the W might be best to stay away.

Twofeet, it is a private, doctor owned practice. They even own the premises (or have a VERY long lease.) This doctor is the "senior partner" or whatever the doctor equivalent of that is. No alcohol policy to violate. The "Attraction" to the doctor is more a function of his relative youth and position-- he is chief of his surgical section at hospital and, of course, wealthy-- i don't think he is particularly physically attractive though he was a college athlete. I think he probably gives off vibes of being "available" even though he is married.