I think we all agree, I know I do. I was going state that the hardes thing form me is the negative emotions/feelings to those 10 years of my life, I didn't just lose my spouse, I lost 10 years of what would have otherwise been good memories.
Dawn posted awhile back about the importance of forgiving the WS, and while I completely agree I just am not there. I've erased her from my life and that might just have been so I didn't have to forgive her. Maybe one day I will find that forgiveness and be able to look back with some sort of "good" feeling.
I think everyone gets to things at their own pace, in their own time. For me, honestly, the forgiveness was more about healing for myself than anything to do with him. I still think he's an ass and I still think he behaved badly through some of what went on, but it just ceases to matter to me anymore. I needed to forgive to move on, so I did. I won't necessarily say that I look back with only good memories. Most of my good memories from that time frame revolve around the girls or other family members, not him. It sounds weird and I don't really know how to explain, but what I do know is that ultimately, forgiveness was the gift I gave myself (yes, corny and cliché) and it suited me. I'm living my best life.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
